What Is The Ideal Relationship, Love, After Love Marriage Or Arrange Marriage?

“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like horse and carriage”
“Fairy Tales Come True, they may happen to you if you are among the very young at heart” sung by Frank Sinatra
In the 40’s, Frank Sinatra sang to millions of teenagers fainting and set their hearts the fire. His songs brought a romantic vision of moonlit walks barefoot romps along the beach. Wow! Those were the days. Or were they? Romance was in the air, and then it turned into … Smog?
My mother, no different from other girls of her generation, was to shake the idea of romantic love. In the bedroom, I grew up in Brooklyn stood with pink lace and white French provincial furniture. On the wall, papered with red roses hung beautifully embroidered pictures, where two suited men bowed in the direction of two women dressed in dresses Coraline swollen. The poem was embroidered above the pair, which read: “Decorate your heart, your mind is decorated with the purest kind of love Sweet morning youth inspired by love and truth.” I read these innocent words repeatedly wondering what they had in mind.
Born in 1950 and grew up a teenager in the sixties, I was split between free love and romantic love. However, entrenched in my mind was the belief that if I was not married when I was twenty-one years, I was an unmarried woman? Twenty years, I was married. Thirty-nine years later, I’m still married to the same person. How do we make it work? As we live through the passages of time and continue to grow as a person, not killing each other? I’m not the same person all these years because of idealistic views of a dreamy rhyme. My husband and I are still going on because of years of intense inner work, therapy, spiritual retreats, commitment and honest communication. Our marriage is always under construction. More to come on this process of marital longevity, but first let’s look at some history on the myth of the “perfect marriage.”

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